I had the pleasure of listening to my aunt pontificate at length during dinner about why she wouldn't ever volunteer at homeless shelters. Because she works hard for her money and why would she give it to them? If they would just stop being so lazy (and addicted to drugs) they could get a job and everything would be hunky dory.

I tried to point out that it's not at all like that - that many homeless women are escaping abusive relationships where their partner was the sole/main income, the unemployment rate is rapidly approaching 10% and likely to get worse, which certainly isn't because of "laziness" on the average worker's part. My uncle chimed in, adding that a lot of homeless people are mentally ill and can't hold jobs because of it. She wasn't having any of it.

The thing is, yeah, many homeless people are addicted to drugs. I'm sure that some of them are lazy, too, and just don't want to put the effort into holding down a job (because the lifestyle of the poor and destitute is so glamorous and all). Statistically speaking, there have got to be at least some like that, true.

But it's also true that many have mental illnesses and that many are trying to escape abusive situations. It's also true that many have jobs - some have two or three - but they only pay minimum wage and there's kids to feed and $6.55 an hour is not fucking enough - ESPECIALLY if there are medical bills to pay and those two or three minimum-wage jobs don't offer health benefits worth shit. It's also true that if someone is black or Latin@ and a woman she's already got two strikes against her - three if she's queer or trans - because, guess what, our society is still disgustingly racist and hetero/cis/sexist. It's also true that many were never given the proper tools to succeed in the first place because their parents didn't have enough money or they were "problem students" or a million other half-assed reasons.

And you know what else is true? You can't pick and choose.

You can't specify for the money you donate to only go to the "hardworking" homeless or the simply "unlucky." You can't go to a homeless shelter, ask for the drug users to raise their hands, then tell them to get the fuck out because you don't wanna help their kind. Because 99% of the time you can't tell whether a person is one of the "good" homeless people who's just trying to rebuild their life or one of the "bad" homeless who will spend your money on drugs.

(And who the fuck determines what's "good" or "bad," anyway? Don't drug addicts deserve our help and support so they can get out of their addiction? Or is sympathy only reserved for the celebrities and politicians who go into rehab?)

So it's an all-or-nothing situation. You can decide out of some high-minded sense of righteousness that you don't want your money to go to "those kinds" of people who do things you don't like - and, in the process, fuck over thousands of genuinely good people. OR you can decide to do the right fucking thing and help those genuinely good people and the "not-so-good" people because they're still fucking people.

I'm looking for some good queer bars to go to around town. Ideally ones that are actually frequented by queer women.

So far the most promising ones seem to be Club Vibe (which has drag kings), Incognito Lounge, Wild Card (though it's apparently for a slightly older crowd) and The Door, though I'm not clear whether the last one is even still open or not.

Lots of country/western and sports bars. Nooo thank you. I don't care how hot the women are, I'm not dancing to country or western.

I'm also wondering if I should go by myself. Maybe I can ask one of my cousins to go with me. I'm not sure whether any of them would want to, though (besides the one who actually is gay, but he and I barely know each other). Dammit, trying to make friends in a strange city is hard. And scary. :(

There's also a big drag show later this month. But - again - I'm afraid to go alone. ._. And I've never been to a real drag show before. What if I show up and look like a total tool? Because my drag is shoddy - or I'm the only woman in drag - or something. *frets*

I totally want to do this.

Except not down here. Because the chickens would DIE. Because it's TOO FUCKING HOT.

It's supposed to get up to 115 degrees this weekend. ONE HUNDRED FIFTEEN DEGREES.

WHY DO PEOPLE LIVE DOWN HERE? AND WHY DO THEY ENJOY IT?

*pines for the fjords of Minnesota*

This is really awesome. I also like the accompanying photo montage, "Three Great Hijab-Friendly Looks." It's just like any other "fashion tips" feature - which is the whole point. By treating hijab as a type of dress worth paying attention to, the newspaper helps destigmatize it. Because, dammit, lots of women who wear hijab still want to be stylish, and fashion media should recognize it.

I wish we could see more stuff like this in mainstream American news outlets, too. (Though I understand The Guardian falls on the liberal side of the political spectrum in the UK.) I think one big way to counter Islamophobia is simply to incrase positive/neutral media exposure - so when people see an article in their local newspaper about tips for hijab-wearing women, that makes them think, "Oh hey, Muslim women read this newspaper too. They care about what they wear, too." They might even think, "Hey, that tunic/sweater/skirt looks really cute! I'd so wear that!"

(Of course, Muslim women don't need - and shouldn't need - validation from mainstream society that what they wear is "attractive" or "fashionable," but people tend to be more accepting if it's immediately applicable to their own tastes.)

Cuz we need to do all we can to counter people like this.

I'M GETTING SUCKED INTO STEAMPUNK WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I hiked to the top of a mountain today. It was hard work! It was a little over four miles round-trip and a little under four hours. (About two hours up, about half that down.)

There were little lizards EVERYWHERE. They were adorable.

I ran out of water halfway. Fortunately, the way down was much cooler and less strenuous than the way up. Even so, I'll have to remember to bring more water next time.

When I got to the top I could see the Grand Canyon in the distance. I know where I'm going next time!

Oh man I'm going to be so sore tomorrow. =_=

I've come to the stark realization that I can never live in the desert. I've known all along that I don't want to live in the desert, but I didn't realize how much I need water in my life until I was looking at pictures from Yellowstone and Vermont and Iowa. Seeing all that water, all that greenery, all that rain - and knowing that I was missing out on it - made me want to cry. (And you know it's bad when Iowa looks like paradise compared to here.)

No offense, Arizona, but once I'm done with this internship I'm leaving and never looking back.

Whenever I have to get up early for work (like today) I take a several hour nap once I get home around midday. Today, while I had my siesta, I dreamt I was on a school bus. I was going on a field trip for a class at Northland. And Nathan Fillion was there; he was in the seat ahead of me. I was singing and humming to myself as I'm wont to do on long, boring rides, and at one point I got a little carried away, jumped up in the aisle (where there was, conveniently, the roof of a van for me to perform on), and started singing Captain Hammer's part in "A Man's Gotta Do."

Soon I realized Nathan Fillion was watching me with a rather amused expression on his face and, thoroughly embarrassed that I'd completely butchered his part, I stopped. "Sorry," I said, sheepishly.

"No, no, you were pretty good," he said. "That's my favorite song, too." Then he started belting out "A Man's Gotta Do" in all his Captain Hammer glory, and when it came time for Penny's part, this one girl from Northland chimed in - the one who looks a lot like Penny. I can't remember her name - she's got red hair and looks like a slightly older, shorter, thinner version of Alisa? Yeah, she started singing Penny's part, and then I started singing Dr. Horrible's part (the reasoning being that I have an androgynous haircut and can sing a First Tenor part with relative ease).

So me and Nathan Fillion became best buddies and chatted it up during the bus ride. Which was very very long, by the way. It seemed like we were driving for hours. And when I looked outside, none of the roads or signs made sense - they were all curving back on themselves and there were signs where there shouldn't be and it was just messed up. I was pretty worried because I knew I was supposed to help navigate, but I was just guessing on where we were supposed to go.

We got to our destination okay anyway; it was a giant... mall-airport-waterpark-thing. And we weren't dropped off in the parking lot; instead, we were plopped down in the middle of a giant, curved concrete maze that was something of a mix between a skate park and a water slide. However, most of the time it was completely dry; every once in a while a big rush of water would come snaking through the area. "Uhh..." I looked around, confused. "Where do we go?"

"I'm not sure," Nathan Fillion said, equally befuddled. "Do you remember where we were supposed to meet up?"

Suddenly, I got an idea. I waited for another surge of water, then said, "Come on!" and hopped in. The water carried us through the maze and down a big drain, and we popped out in the middle of the atrium of a large mall similar to the MOA. We looked around; though there were handfuls of people here and there, no one seemed fazed by our unorthodox method of arrival. At one end of the atrium I saw a store that I think we were supposed to meet people at; or maybe it just looked interesting. "Come on, this way!" I said, and Nathan Fillion and I took off at a jog. Everything in the mall was huge - like, it wasn't just a big mall, the proportions of things was bigger, like the people who built it were eight or ten feet tall on average. But we got to the store, and all I remember is racks and racks of blue. Blue everything, and the store was so full of blue stuff - clothing, I think - that we had to squeeze sideways between the racks to reach the back of the store.

And that's all I remember.

I think all these dreams involving famous men are a result of missing Daniel. He's the most important man in my life, so my brain conjures up all these socially important men for me to play with in his absence. One would wonder why my brain wouldn't conjure up him to play with while I sleep, but it seems my subconscious has always been an obstinate bitch.

Also, my hair is red now.

My peeps over at Beiden 826 made me a L5R CCG card for my character. Check it out:



I kinda wish I knew the first thing about the CCG - I'd probably appreciate it more. XD But still - it's very pretty.

The days seem really long when I have to get up early and really short when I don't. Not quite sure which one I prefer.

I've discovered a flaw in my scheduling: though I don't have to get up until late on the days after I get up early, I'm usually so tired by, say, now that I feel little desire to seize the opportunity to stay up late.

*rereads last sentence* Yeah, I think that made sense.

Though he drives me up the wall, I appreciate having Tiger here. He's someone to talk to, even if most of the time it's, "Get off the table! Leave me alone, stupid cat! I'm trying to read, here!"

I'm getting the hang of stick shift. I might be ready to drive the Mustang to work by the time Rick and Mary come home.

I find that, while I'm terrified of the prospect of getting lost, actually getting lost isn't that scary. I've gotten (semi) lost on two different occasions: once on the way to work and once on the way back, and I all I thought was things along the lines of, "Okay, if I go this general direction I should find a familiar street eventually; let's see what happens." Thinking about getting lost, on the other hand (as in, thinking what if I get lost? before I go somewhere) sends me all into a tizzy. You'd think I'd learn, but apparently not.

There's a Fresh 'n' Easy (kind of a hybrid between a Whole Foods and a Festival Foods) a block from the house that I walk to to by groceries. The other day I was buying a six-pack of Guinness, and when I gave the cashier my ID he almost didn't believe it was legit. It's understandable - it's an out-of-state license, and I don't look much like my photo (does one ever?), and when I first got my license I was belaboring under the delusion that I had blue eyes and have never bothered to correct it - but it got me thinking: how does one prove that one's ID is legit? If he thought it was fake and called the cops, how would I convince them that I wasn't trying to illegally get booze? I suppose I could just tell them to call Rick for verification - he's a local police sergeant (or some other rank of decent authority), and I imagine they'd take his word for it. Still, not everyone has relatives in the local law enforcement.

I don't sleep well at night; it's too bright in my rooms because the curtains aren't thick enough to block out the streetlights, and I need as close to pitch-blackness as one can get to really sleep soundly. Having someone to snuggle with helps too, but Tiger - though he loves climbing all over me in the middle of the night - isn't one for cuddling. He has to many pointy ends.

I dreamt that I was sucked through an inter-dimensional portal to an alternate Northland. It was mostly the same as the real Northland, except the terrain was a lot more mountainous as it sloped to the lake, and the campus was a bit bigger with a lot more trees. Ashland was bigger too, and appeared more prosperous... because instead of the oredock, they had a port for spaceships. Apparently technology was a lot more advanced in this alternate world; where the oredock and the marina usually are, there was instead a giant, spindly blue structure as tall as a skyscraper covered in tiny lights that spaceships docked with. Apparently the shallow waters of the bay were condusive to the ships or something. I remember that there was a ship shaped like a giant X docked while I was there; it was as tall as an ore tanker stood on its end, and I knew that it belonged to an alien race, though I never saw any aliens in my dream.

Everyone was there, and they were all the same as they are in real life. Except Dan had never broken his collarbone. I told everyone that I was in an alternate dimension and needed to get back to the "real" Northland. Of course, they were all confused. "What are you talking about? This is the real Northland," they said.

"No it isn't! It's an alternate universe!"

"How do you know that the universe you came from isn't the alternate universe?"

"It just isn't! I need help getting back home!"

Eventually they agreed to help, but none of us knew what to do, so we just kinda hung out together like we do in real life.

At one point AK beat the crap out of me. I knew - in the way that you just know things in dreams - that this was supposed to happen. Instead of Dan breaking his collarbone, I would get beaten up; it was a cosmic trade-off. However, after walking around in bandages and with a black eye for a while, I was all better and it was forgotten.

After a while we decided we needed to go down to the space port; we agreed to meet by the McDonalds off Hwy 2. Everyone ran off in different directions, and I started running down the street too. I knew I needed to start doing parkour to get to where I needed to go, but I was nervous - I wasn't sure if I could do it. I approached a rampway leading down from a door that had a metal railing on either side; I knew I needed to vault over the closer railing and use the momentum to clear the far one, but would I have the speed and strength to pull it off?

Apparently, yes. I nailed that shit like it was nothing. Exhilerated with my success, I nimbly scampered up the side of a nearby building and began leaping from rooftop to rooftop (which was a lot more exciting than it would be in real Ashland because, remember, it was a bigger city and was perched on the side of a mountain). Everything I did was absolutely effortless - it was almost like I was flying, and just feeling my body move made me almost explode with happiness. I could keep running like that forever... except then I woke up.

I had a dream the other night I was on a reality TV show with Hugh Laurie and Kaneshiro Takeshi, among others (who weren't nearly as heartthrobby and therefore were forgettable). It was vaguely Big Brother-esque in that we were all living in a giant-ass mansion together. We were also divided into teams that competed against each other. One of the challenges was to create a garden; we were led to an area of the expansive lawn that was closed off by a chain-link fence and told to pick the area where our garden would be, pull up the sod, till the earth, and plant the seeds.

Hugh was on my team; I can't remember if Takeshi was or not. I decided to take charge of the activity, since no one else on my team had any gardening experience at all. I checked where the shadows from the house fell on the ground to see where the sunniest part was; the entire area was well-drained and had great soil, so sun exposure was the only thing we needed to worry about. I picked one corner right next to the fence and we got to digging. For some reason, however, we couldn't get rid of the grass. No matter how much sod we pulled up, there always seemed to be more grass falling into the hole. I was starting to get frustrated because we weren't going to win even though we had the best location (apparently there was also a time limit); Hugh told me to calm down and not worry because our plants would still grow better.

I should mention at this point that Hugh spoke in an American accent the entire time. At one point we were just hanging out together and I told him he didn't need to use his American accent for my sake, so he switched back to British. Except he kept slipping back into American. In dream-logic I figured it was because he knew I wasn't used to it and, being such a nice guy and all, didn't want to freak me out; in reality I figure it's because I haven't heard him talk normally enough for me to imagine it.

Naturally, this being a dream and all, Hugh and I had a big thing going on together, but for some reason it was all FORBIDDEN LOVE/LUST (him being old enough to be my dad probably had something to do with it). So I had a fling with Takeshi instead... I actually think it was scripted, and even though it was fun and all I was like, "MY HEART STILL LIES WITH HUGH OMG." Eventually I said "fuck the script" and ran off with him.

There was also a bedroom with a big red bed and velvet curtains and candles everything. My subconscious is so cliche.

---

You remember that coyote I saw the other day? Well I went to water the plants again today, and crouched in the exact same place as the coyote was a big cat. It was a grayish-brown tabby, and it ran off around the side of the house too, though it didn't seem nearly as panicked as the coyote. Since I wasn't nearly as afraid of it, I followed it around right away, and - like the coyote - it had disappeared.

I dunno. Maybe I'm just going crazy from the heat.

Anything in the double digits is considered "cool." Wat.

So yeah, I'm in Phoenix right now. It's just me and the cat (Tiger) in my aunt's house at the moment, as she and her family are on vacation for two weeks. I've got the Mustang, which is a good car, and I've pretty much figured out how to drive it. I shouldn't drive it until it's registered, anyway, and I can't register it until my proof of insurance arrives in a week or two.

I started my internship at KSAZ yesterday; I work four days a week - at 1:30 PM on Mondays and Wednesdays, and at 5:00 AM on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Getting up at 4 this morning was kind of rough, but I managed. (I'm going to go take a nap right after I'm done here.)

Yesterday I really didn't do anything except observe people and dink around with the software they use to make the scripts. Apparently "writing" for news shows requires not just an ability to write clearly and succinctly; you also need to have a good head for what images to show while the anchors are talking, since that's in the script too. I also observed how they update their website; it seemed pretty straightforward and more down my alley.

This morning I ran the teleprompter for the morning show, which from what I understand is much more difficult than prompting for the afternoon shows because the morning anchors looove to ad lib. I only messed up once, and I was able to fix it right away without killing the show, so I consider that a success.

Afterwards I helped search for material to use on tomorrow's broadcast. I found a good article on CNN that they really liked, so they're going to use it! Yay, I contributed. Hopefully I'll be able to do actual writing soon.

After work yesterday I took a dip in the pool to cool off and then went out front to water the plants. I was just about to turn on the hose when I noticed a tan-colored animal about the size of a big fox crouching between a bush and the house - about three feet away. I had just enough time to think, Holy shit, a coyote! before it dashed away around the side of the house; the last thing I saw was the black tip of its tail.

Now, there's a big wall seperating the neighbor's yard and Aunt Mary's, and there's a big wall seperating the front from the back, so as far as I could tell the coyote was trapped. I could see the headlines now: "Barefoot, Binkini'd Minnesotan Visitor Mauled by Coyote in Front Yard." I debated wether to call someone (Aunt Mary? Cousin Becky? Mom? Dan?) or grab my glasses and some sandals. Either one required me to go inside, so I ran back in and grabbed my glasses and some flip-flops. I cautiously rounded the side of the house, but the coyote was nowhere to be seen. Thinking it had jumped the wall to the backyard, I went out to the back pourch but couldn't find it there either.

There was, however, an owl hooting away in the tree.

In other news, I have a feeling I'm going to be spending as much time in Flagstaff as possible. We have a high of 103 today; they have a high of 76.

I dropped Mum off at the airport earlier today; it's just going to be me and the cat for two weeks, and I start my internship tomorrow.

----

Several years ago, I visited a great-aunt of mine who owned an amusement park in WI. She had a bunch of rides, including bungee jumping. I got in a large cage with the operator, and we were raised up into the air over a safety mat by a crane. The operator attached a harness to my ankles and the bungee cord to the harness, double-checking and triple-checking the main rig, the backup rig, and the backup backup rig. Then he opened the door on the side of the cage and gestured for me to jump.

He'd made it as safe as possible for me, but the fact remained that I was jumping out of a cage hanging hundreds of feet above the ground. On the one hand, it was incredibly unlikely that something would go wrong; on the other hand even 0.01% chance is indelibly larger than zero chance.

----

Gotta be at the station at 7:00 AM tomorrow. I've got a light-rail pass; I can just use the park'n'ride. But I need to get up at 5 AM to do it. :/ And my morning shifts are too early for me to use the train.

Well, I'm in Arizona for the summer.

-It's fucking HOT down here. Holy shit.

-I tried driving stick for the first time. I didn't completely suck, which was nice.

-Aunt Mary, Uncle Rick, et al are leaving tomorrow for their summer home in Iowa. I'm going to be home alone for a week. Which, on the one hand, is nice, but on the other hand I'm alone in a strange city for the first week of my internship. ._.

Hopefully I won't completely suck.

Raito died last night.

We reached the Festering Pit of Fu Leng and climbed down to the center, where a giant obsidian spire of spikeyness stuck up. Impaled halfway up the spire was a guy with white hair who was about my age. I climbed up to give him some water and see if I could get him down, but he started rambling and I figured out that he was Kanpeki, the oldest (and as far as we knew the only) son of Daigotsu. Apparently he hadn't lived up to his daddy's expectations. However, before I could kill him and put him out of his misery, he screamed, "BUT I'LL SHOW HIM!" and did like a Super Sayan thing that sent everyone flying except for Ryoma, who was a ronin shugenja we were traveling with and the sort-of leader of the group.

I dropped down from the spire and tried to strike Kanpeki with some lightning, but it was too difficult to cast spells in the Shadowlands. There were kansen whispering in my ear that they could help me out, but I was like, "STFU!" and grabbed my wakizashi. Kanpeki slashed me with his claws good, but even so - and with only one rank in kenjutsu - I managed to roll, like, a 60 to attack and a 30 on damage. HOLLA. I impaled him, Naora (Shannon) patched me up, and we stood around wondering what the hell we were supposed to do next.

Then Orson Wells's voice echoed over our heads. "He was an impure vessel, so I searched for another. I searched for a woman with higher breeding." Or something like that. We're all confused and WTF-y at that point, but I give Ryoma a suspicious look because I'd sensed something off about him earlier. Orson Wells continued, "Rin became a powerful figure - a true samurai - " (at this point I was like FFFFFUUUUUUUUU both IC and OOC) " - but she did not become Empress."

At this point, everyone went HOSHIT out-of-character, because that meant Ryoma was the illegitimate son of Daigotsu and Empress Iweko! GAH! Then a bolt of dark lightning came from the sky, striking Ryoma and sending the rest of us flying up onto the upper level of the crater. When the dust cleared, Ryoma had put on the mask that fell from Kanpeki's kimono and turned into Daigotsu! OH NOES!

Haru (Pan) leapt to the attack right away, but he wasn't able to make a dent in Daigotsu. I summoned another bolt of lightning, but he deflected it, and I gave my yojimbo Inura (Jevy) permission to get in thar and start whuppin ass. Then Daigotsu did some crazy earthbending and made the edge of the crater shoot up, but Naora and I were able to slide down the edge before it got too high. Unfortunately, the rest of the party wasn't so lucky and they were stuck up there. -_-

I summoned a katana of fire and started attacking, and Inura was able to get a few solid hits in with his naginata. Haru, thinking that perhaps Daigotsu's power was located in his mask, did this awesome flip and kicked it right off his face. Unfortunately, the visage of the Dark Lord was so beautiful and terrible to look upon that Haru started crying blood and was blinded for a few rounds. Then Inura got cut with the Ancestral Sword of the Hantei (aka The "Do Whatever The Fuck I Want Whenever The Fuck I Want To" Sword), which Ryoma had had disguised on his person the entire time, and was more or less out of action. Daigotsu summoned a giant pillar of earth that rocketed him over 60 feet into the air, but I was able to grab onto the side of it and was carried up with him. As the others tried to climb up the side of the pillar, Daigotsu and I duked it out atop the pillar, which was only about seven feet in diameter.

"What, are you jealous that I didn't chose you?" he mocked.

"Shut up!" I screamed, and tried to stab him with my Katana of Fire.

"That's not fire magic. This is fire magic." His hands caught fire, then his eyes. I didn't want to find out what spell he was casting, so in an act of desperation I tackled him off the edge of the pillar - right on to the giant, pointy, impaley spire.

I managed not to get impaled myself... but I couldn't stop falling 60 feet to my death.

Not bad for a Rank 1 character. :3

I gave Dan a white gold-plated claddagh ring. It fits astonishingly well, considering I guessed his finger sized based on my thumb size, which I guessed based on Shannon's thumb size. And it came all the way from Ireland, too.

Apparently the peeps in Sunshine House have a pet fox kit. Though it's a "Red fox" in species, it's actually gray and has bright blue eyes. I saw them playing with it outside the townhouses, and at first all I could see was its body, so I was like, Ooooh, lookit the cute kitte-OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT THING? Once I got over the shock of seeing a possum's head on a kitten's body I realized what it really was. I got to hold it. It was soft and furry and very wiggly. ^_^

I might be able to borrow Uncle Bruce's Mustang to drive around while I'm in Phoenix. As my mother said, "That's way more than [I] deserve." I hope it isn't manual; I haven't learned how to drive stick yet.

I'm the one on the right with the black/gray hat.

EDIT: and you can't tell by looking, but I'm wearing a garter belt and stockings under my pants. :3

So my character (Agasha Raito, a punk-ass teenage shugenja), Shannon's (his level-headed best friend), Jevy's (his ever-suffering yojimbo), and Pan's (a paranoid Hare bushi) are flying through the clouds in a hot-air balloon (with a couple NPCs) when we spring a leak and land on the clouds. We hop out to repair it, when suddenly a bunch of kenku fly up and try to kill us; we fry a few of them before a Voice of God tells us to stop and, whaddaya know, Eccentric Raven Kenku Swordsman of Unequivocal Skill, Charisma, and Beauty - Hanzo is there. Apparently he relocated his temple to the clouds.

Hanzo-sensei-sama-san (as Pan calls him) takes us back to his temple and decides he's gonna become our sensei. All right, cool. He asks us what we want to do (defeat the Shadowlands, honor our Ancestors, yadda yadda), then asks us what we don't have the will to do.

Now, Raito's a real smartass. So he gives a smartass answer: "I don't have the will to bite the head off a kitten." Hanzo gives the others challenges appropriate to their answers, then takes Raito into the kitchen and pulls a live kitten out of the cupboard. Naturally, Raito refuses to bite its head off. "There's no reason for me to - what would it accomplish?" he protests. Hanzo leaves, muttering something about meat cleavers.

Soon as the door closes, the kitten grabs a meat cleaver (amidst my protests of, "BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE THUMBS!") and chucks it at Raito, who gets a nice gash from it. Raito grabs the kitten, stuffs it into a pot, and clamps the lid down... but rolls a 3 on his strength check, and the kitten escapes. Raito ducks beneath the counter just as a pot of boiling oil flies past, then counters with a giant wok (but misses). He snatches at the kitten again, but it dodges, grabs a carrot peeler, and carves out a chunk of Raito's forearm, dropping Raito well into the "Injured" wound level. WITH A CARROT PEELER. Raito grabs it again and tries to wring its neck, but it bends like taffy before snapping back into place.

At this point I'm/Raito's pretty sure this isn't a real cat. So he chomps down on its head, rolls a -7 strength (factoring in the wound penalty)... and somehow succeeded in biting the little bugger's head off.

Of course, his yojimbo arrives just in time to see this.

Raito spits out the head and tosses the body down just in time to see them morph into the body and head of a (still very dead) Shadow Ninja. EEEEEWWW. Cue extensive sterilizing of his mouth with the strongest alcohol he can find. At this time, Hanzo comes in and says, "Your mother fell for the same trick."

(Cue massive internal B'AWWWWWWWWing at being compared to his mother EVEN BY BIRD-PEOPLE LIVING IN THE CLOUDS.)

I'm rolling up Rin's son as my next Rokugan character - you know, the kid she had with the Dark Lord of the Shadowlands? Yeah, that one.

As I'm writing up Raito's (lollusion!) backstory, I've realized that a large part of his character psychology is based on his relationship with his mother. Which makes sense, as she's my longest-running character and therefore the most developed. But it also leads to a guy with huuuuuge mommy issues. The fact that she literally views him as the spawn of evil doesn't help things, either.

Dysfunctional families are fun! :D